Monthly Archive for June, 2008

The Verdict on the Last-Longer Pill? Premature

It’s a dream of drug companies and frustrated guys alike (not to mention women): A pill to last longer in bed.

But there are problems. It’s not approved here. And taking it could have an effect on your other head.

The drug is called dapoxetine, and in trials it helped lifelong sufferers of premature ejaculation improve their performance on average from 54 seconds (oops . . . ) to 3.5 minutes (how was that?).

The drug was turned down for approval by the FDA in 2005, but according to Drug Week magazine, Johnson & Johnson plans to file for approval in Canada and “select European countries” (J&J’s coy on this one), some as early as the end of the year.

Lasting four times longer is impressive news for the estimated 20 to 30 percent of men suffering from PE. But the drug is really a form of antidepressant, which raises red flags for some people.

For years doctors have prescribed drugs such as Celexa, Zoloft, and Paxil for PE “off-label” — meaning they know they’re not intended for PE, but they know they work. So they prescribe them anyway.

The new drug is derived from these selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). But it’s been tweaked so it works quicker and fades from your system faster than antidepressants.

Good enough, right?

Full story here

ODE TO VIAGRA

Some say it is super.
Some say it is silly.
We hear it works great
for a limp-acting Willie.

You’ve heard no doubt
Of a starch called Niagara.
We found out by chance
It’s what’s contained in Viagara.

At ten dollars a pop
This seems like a buy.
But can you suggest it
To your impotent guy?

It’s side effects aren’t charted
It may be too iffy.
But what some men won’t do
For a good old-fashioned stiffy!

Viagra Worked — Now Let’s Try These…

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society…

DIRECTRA — a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA — Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA — Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks — especially cleaning up spills and “little” accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA — In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA — Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be ascertained: Whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store’s return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA — Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA — This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA — This complex drug converts men’s noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA — This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA — About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into “special prosecutors.”

LIAGRA — This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.




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